The one that got away
by autumnleaves18
Summary: There has always been something about Jason that attracted Aria to him but she never gave it a chance. Years have passed and they meet again and she realizes he is the one that got away.
1. Chapter 1

"Aria?" Immediately she holds her breath when she hears the sound of his voice. She could swear that her heart skipped a beat and now beats twice as fast. If she had been honest, she would have admitted that this has happened every time so far when she met him. But just as many times, she ignored it and denied it. Every time she resorted to excuses.

Slowly she turns around. She needs every moment to give her the opportunity to hide how his voice, the thought of seeing him again, and her own reaction stirred her up. "Hi Jason", she greets him with a bright smile.

Hours elapsed, countless words have been said. They have told each other everything they'd done in the last two years. Every little thing that has shaken, enriched or changed their lives. But neither of them has mentioned who holds their hearts.

Both remain mute about the fact that she blushed everytime when she saw him in the summer before Alison disappeared. Neither of them talks about the kiss he has breathed so tenderly on her lips.

Neither of them talks about that _one fucking kiss_ , which she has returned and then broken off.

Neither of them speaks of the kiss, which nevertheless still dominates the thoughts of the two. The kiss they both have never forgotten.

Jason and Aria are almost the last ones still sitting in the back corner of the bar. Aria has now put her feet on the bench and is leaning with her right arm on the wooden backrest. She supports her head with her hand and looks at Jason smiling.

"God, you can still do it", it suddenly bursts out of her.

Jason looks at her questioningly. "What?"

"When I look at you, I don't remember what I just wanted to say. My whole body feels like it is electrified since hours. My heart is pounding wildly and everything tingles in my stomach." Now it's said. All feelings that she has always kept hidden from him. There is no way back. Jason just stares at her, unable to reply anything.

"I've always felt like this when you were near me. I fell for you the moment we moved to Rosewood and I was at your house for the first time and saw you. But there was Ali and I was thirteen", Aria recalls laughing.

"When you kissed me after Ali disappeared, I thought my heart exploded. I had goose bumps all over my body. I couldn't sleep for days because I could only think of you and this kiss and when I slept, I only dreamed of you. But there was Ezra. He risked everything for me. So, I pushed you out of my life. I thought it was going to stop. But it didn't."

Aria doesn't know why these words are suddenly so easily to say to him. For years, she couldn't admit, that she feels so much for her friend's brother. But now all of a sudden she can tell him everything.

For her, he wasn't only the brother of Alison or the brother of Spencer. He wasn't the drug addicted freak who has been a failure. She'd seen more in him although Alison tried to persuade them a lot that they shouldn't spend time with him.

He is Jason, _the one that got away._

Although she drank something, she just sips at her second glass of wine. No, the alcohol is not to blame. She is absolutely of sound mind.

Jason hasn't said anything yet. Aria can't read a reaction in his face. He just stares at her.

"I should go now", Jason says suddenly without responding to her confession and jumps up. Aria runs after him irritated. Wordlessly they walk side by side through the dark night. Jason doesn't say a word to her, he doesn't look at her and almost runs. Aria has trouble keeping up with him.

Doesn't he have anything to say to what she has just told him? She holds him firmly by his arm. "Jason", she breathes heavily, as she stands in front of him and looks up at him.

She doesn't need to ask him if he doesn't care about what she just told him. She can see how much her words have stirred him up. She can see that she still means something to him. She can see how much he just wants to kiss her.

Aria stands on tiptoe and puts her right hand at his neck to pull herself up to him. Jason bends down to her, but he hesitates to put his lips on hers. Confused Aria is waiting for him to kiss her finally. She realizes how he struggles with himself. She can already feel his breath on her skin. But instead of feelings his lips on hers, she can hear his voice in her ear.

"Aria?" He whispers softly. "Yes?" She asks, smiling. Jason remains silent for a moment. For a moment, she thinks, he forgets everything he just wanted to say and just kisses her.

"I'm engaged."

These words echo in her head over and over again. She crashes back on her feet and lets her hand drop from him. "I'm sorry", Jason says before walking away from her. The scene immediately reminds him of the moment he kissed her four years ago and she left him with the same last words. But this time he left.

Why has he apologized at all? She has rejected him and she has disappeared completely for two years. What has she thought would happen when she would come back? That he still thinks of her? That his heart is still racing when he sees her?

The problem is that exactly that happened. He shouldn't care about her anymore. He shouldn't care about the feelings she has for him. He shouldn't feel that way anymore.

 **So another Jaria story. I'm a little bit obsessed, sorry. I will still continue the other one, no worry :) What do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

If her fingers don't tremble so much, she would certainly be better able to help her friend with the preparations for the celebration of her 21st birthday. But her heart beats faster every second and her knees tremble unceasingly.

In less than an hour she will see him again. He will come to the party of his sister holding his fiancé by his hand and they will greet each other insecurely, only because she is too late.

She had so much time to tell him that she has feelings for him but she chose a time when he has already found the right woman for himself. Aria feels terribly. She had seen in his eyes how much her words have shaken him up.

She had so much time to tell him but she had to tell him yesterday. And now she has not only to live with the knowledge that she is too late, but also that she was unfair to him. He has gotten over her and she sits in front of him and tells him that she is still in love with him. How could she do that without thinking about the consequences?

"I'm really glad that you could make it", she suddenly hears Spencer saying next to her. Spencer, her friend for years and his sister. Oh God, what will she say when she knows what happened between Aria and her brother? She loves him, absolutely. There is no doubt.

Aria looks nervously. "I'm also happy to be here. I'm sorry I've called so rarely lately", Aria replies with an apologetic smile.

"It's ok", Spencer assures her friend. "We've both been busy. I understand that. Now you're here and that means a lot to me", she says, smiling and hugging her friend warmly.

Her nervousness hasn't decreased a bit when she sees him enter the garden only a short time later. He looks so incredible handsome. He is wearing a simple, dark jeans and a light shirt. But she, next to him, is just as breathtakingly beautiful.

It must be her. His fiancé. Immediately Aria can feel the burden of her guilty conscience. She would have kissed him, as if the past few year don't exist. The years when they haven't spoken a word.

The years in which he got over her because she didn't pay any attention to him. Seemingly.

The years in which he seems to have found true love now personified walking so graciously beside him that Aria feels as if she is only the stupid little girl from the neighborhood who has a crush on his best friend's brother while he would never notice her.

When Jason's fiancé greets Spencer and hands her the gift, she is so distracted for a moment that she doesn't notice the little smile that Jason gives Aria when he sees her standing under the big apple tree.

Immediately as he entered the garden, he knew where she was standing and he could feel her eyes on him and Lauren. As if he is magically attracted to her. But he had forced himself not to look at her. He knew that his gaze would betray too much feelings for that woman.

All night he lied awake beside his fiancé and thought of another woman. He thought of Aria's words, her confession and her attempt to kiss him.

He'd spent countless hours asking himself, whether he regrets not having kissed her. He knows it would have been wrong, because of Lauren. But if Lauren wasn't there, would he have wanted to kiss her?

And as much as he wants to deny, he knows the answer.

Yes.

He would have kissed her.

Without hesitation.

Minutes. Forever. Until they were both breathless.

While he eats, he tries to sit as far as possible from her but his gaze still seeks her. He can't get out of her way. There is no other way than to talk about it.

"Can I talk to you?" Jason asks her when he suddenly stands next to her after everyone stood up after dinner and started to make small talk. Lauren is distracted by his mother and is out of their sight.

Aria hesitates. Perhaps she shouldn't talk to him. Perhaps it would confuse him even more. But she can't take back her words. "Ok", she finally says softly and monosyllable. Jason and Aria sit together on a lonely standing wooden bench under an apple tree.

"Lauren seems very nice", Aria says. "Yes, she is. She's really special", Jason says smiling. "I'm happy when you're happy", Aria says quickly.

"What happened to _him_?" Jason asks, not responding to these words. He doesn't need to mention his name. Aria knows because of the way his face looked while he asked this question, that he means Ezra.

"He's in New York, waiting for me to come home. He couldn't come", she says softly, while she looks to the ground. Of course, she is ashamed that she wanted to cheat on Ezra. But when she wanted to kiss Jason, she hadn't thought of Ezra for a second.

Jason looks at her wide-eyed. "You're still together?" He asks in amazement. "Aria, you were trying to kiss me", he notes confused. "I know", she says softly. "Apparently, I'm not as happy with him as everyone else thinks I am", she says sighing.

For a while Jason stares at her without saying a word. "Aria, what you've said yesterday", Jason doesn't manage to complete the sentence because he is interrupted by Aria. "I shouldn't have said that, Jason. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have come back and tell you all this. You have lived your life and what you've confessed to me is long ago."

"Yes, maybe you shouldn't have told me so easily. But you did." Jason hesitates. Does he really want to ask the next question? Shouldn't he tell her that all this doesn't change anything? That he will love and marry Lauren? Just asking the question will make her realize that the answer does matter to him.

"Is it really what you feel? Did you mean all that seriously?" He asks finally because he knows that he can only make a decision with this answer. "Jason, you're engaged. It doesn't matter if I meant it that way. I missed my chance." With these words, Aria gets up and leaves. Therefore, she can't hear the words that Jason quietly murmurs to himself.

"Unfortunately, I do care."

 **I am back! :D And so sorry it took me so long...**

 **So Aria is kind of a cheater but I just did not want Jason be the second choice. So she is with Ezra but still starts to think Jason is the one for her. What do you think about this chapter and what do you think should happen next?**


	3. Chapter 3

The ringing of the bell startles Aria the following day. It's ten o'clock. She doesn't expect a visitor and her parents can't be back yet. With quick steps she runs down the stairs as the bell rings again. The sound repeats several times until Aria finally arrives at the door and stared at Spencer on the other side of the threshold.

"What the hell were you thinking?" She yells at Aria, before her friend is able to say a word at all. "How can you be so selfish? Do you think the world is all about you? That nothing has changed since you left? Aria, you've always been like a sister to me. I forgive you that you have hardly been calling for years. I've invited you because I want you back in my life. But now I wonder who you really are. Whether you're still my friend?"

Aria looks at her fossilized. She isn't able to say even a single word. "Jason told me what happened between you two. I don't know if he told me everything, but he said that you confessed to him that you still have feelings for him. Actually, you confessed to him that you've ever had feelings for him. And he told me you were trying to kiss him." Aria looks ashamed at the ground.

"God Aria, what are you thinking? That he's waiting for you? All those years? He told you he was in love with you and you chose Ezra. And I don't know if you got it with all the love and happiness you were surrounded with, but he didn't get over you after that. Don't you think he could easily have found someone else if he had wanted? But he just didn't want to. For him it has always been you. And when you left Rosewood and his life, he finally managed to get rid of you and get to know Lauren. At least I thought so. Aria, Lauren is really amazing. I really like her and she loves him very much. Our relationship has changed a lot over the past years. Jason isn't the brother with whom I try to get along anymore. I don't care that we haven't grown up together. He's my brother and I love him. I just want him to be happy. Please, leave Jason alone. Let him be happy." With these words Spencer simply turns around and leaves.

* * *

Aria sits on the couch, sobbing. Spencer is right. How could she be so selfish? How could she just come back after such a long time and tell Jason what she has always felt for him? She wipes the tears from her cheeks as she hears her cell phone ringing on the table.

She stretches her head to see who is calling her: Alison. Great, the next lecture from the other sister. Aria considered for a moment to let it ring. But then she reaches for it and answers the call.

"Hello Ali", she says hesitantly. Alison can clearly hear that her friend is crying. "Hello Aria", she answers. Aria can immediately hear that Alison's voice is quiet and has hope that this conversation will be more bearable for her.

"Spencer called me", Alison says. "I thought so", Aria replies, "so go ahead. I can bear that. It can't be worse today. So scream at me. I deserve it." At the other end of the line she hears Alison sighing and then for a long time silence.

"I didn't call to shout at you. I'm not really happy about what you've done ...", Alison pauses. "But?" Aria asks curiously. "But I know how much he was in love with you, Aria. I knew it long before he told you. He was already in love with you before I left. And I have also seen my brother after you rejected him. I've watched him without him noticing. I saw how hurt he was. If your words upset him so much, then Lauren is probably not the right one for him. Probably you are. I just wish you could have admitted earlier, that you have feelings for him."

When Alison hears the voice of her friend again, she knows that Aria hasn't managed to hold back the tears in her eyes anymore. "I know he didn't deserve that. But when he stood in front of me ...", Aria tries to find the right words. "It was as if time had stood still. As if the last few years hadn't existed", Aria says, sighing.

Alison smiles at the words of her friend before her voice becomes serious. "Aria, I know you acted impulsively when you confessed your feelings to him and I believe that you meant it honestly. That you have expressed exactly what you feel for him. But I don't think you really thought about what should happen after that." For a moment, she pauses. She knows that her words will decisively contribute to what her friend will do next.

"I can't advise you to fight for him, Aria. I like Lauren too much. But no matter what you do, please be sure what you want from Jason. Because Jason always wanted everything. He didn't want just one night with you or a kiss. He didn't just want to have fun with you. He wanted to wake up next to you every morning. He wanted to be with you in good and in bad times. He would have loved you if you'd been in a bad mood and he would have idolized you when you laughed. I hope you know that, Aria. Please don't hurt him again." Aria doesn't get the chance to reply. She only hears the sound of the line because her friend has already hung up.

 **I know it is short but I like to keep it that way for this story. What do you think?**


	4. Chapter 4

"Miss, are you not feeling well?" The older woman asks next to her and as Aria turns her face, she looks into her worried eyes. Her lips begin to tremble and the tear, which has just fallen slowly out of her eye, begins to become an incessant stream of further tears.

A deep sobbing escapes her chest and she hides her face with her hands. Aria sinks into her seat. She didn't want to break down in front of random people. She wanted to pull herself together and endure the pain silently. She hates tearing up in public and she doesn't want to be comforted by strangers.

She hates that the people in the row in front of her turn around and look at her pitifully. What must have happened to that sad, young woman? Why does she sit completely devastated and crying in this plane?

The older woman starts searching in her handbag and after a few moments she pulls out a full pack of handkerchiefs, which she holds out to Aria. Aria takes the handkerchiefs hesitantly and thanks the woman with an apologizing smile. Gently the older woman puts her hand on the younger woman's forearm.

"Did you have to say goodbye to someone?" She asks. Although the woman is as stranger to her, Aria notices that it isn't the inappropriate curiosity of a strange woman, but the honest will to comfort her and to give her a few encouraging words.

Aria nods as another tear flows over the reddened skin of her cheek. "Did you have to say goodbye to a man?", the older woman asks with a knowing look and Aria nods again. "Oh dear, the heart, the love", the woman replies sighing.

"Nothing brings you such happiness and nothing lets you suffer a comparable pain", she adds without looking at Aria. For a moment, the woman is lost in her own thoughts and Aria knows that she isn't the only one who has experienced this pain.

"Will you see him again?" The older woman asks softly. But Aria shakes her head and another sob escapes her chest. "No, I don't think so. It's better that way", Aria adds. "An unrequited love?", the woman asks in surprise.

Aria needs a moment before she is able to speak again. "I don't know", she answers honestly. "Oh dear, oh dear", the woman says again. But she doesn't ask any more questions.

Instead, she takes a deep breath before she speaks the next words. "I don't know what happened and I don't want to judge whether you are doing the wrong thing when you run away from him without exploring your feelings for each other. But let me give you the wisdom of an old woman to take it with you. It may sound popular but you don't regret anything in old age as much as the chances you have missed."

The woman is right! She is right with that little comment that her wisdom is absolutely popular and easy to say. But it isn't that easy.

While the older woman falls into a light sleep, Aria feels the anger and rage rise in her. She isn't angry at the older woman, who was only worried about her and wanted to comfort her. But her words still make her angry.

It is so easy to look back and to regret all the wrong decisions and all the chances you didn't take after all these years. But in this moment, in the present, it's so hard to decide.

It is not just the decision for him. It is also the decision against Ezra. It is the decision to bear the anger of her friend. It is the decision to meet the expectations of the other sister and her friend. It is the decision to completely change her own plans. It is the decision to change his plans as well. It is the decision to push him to make a decision. It is the decision to be completely vulnerable. It is the decision to confront another woman with the end of her relationship. It is the decision to make another woman doubt herself.

And in the end, she got on this plane and made a decision. She has decided to leave happiness for all of them and to return to her old life in New York with Ezra.

She hasn't chosen Jason. She hasn't chosen Ezra. But she has decided against the chaos that she would have caused. With all the consequences for her own life.

And so, Aria breaths deeply again as she turns the key in the door-lock of her apartment, which she shares with Ezra and opens the door and sees Ezra greeting her with a smile.

She forces herself to smile and pulls her suitcase behind her into the familiar apartment, which suddenly seems uncomfortable to her. She lets Ezra hug her and greet her.

She tries to enjoy the kiss, which he breathes tenderly against her hair. And she tries to enjoy the kiss, which he lovingly presses on her lips. She can feel the joy of seeing her again in his kiss. But Aria just wants to turn back.

And she hates herself so much for these thoughts. She should have never flown to Rosewood. She just messed everything up.

It is hard for her to enjoy it, when she is lying on the couch in his arms in the evening and feels his closeness to her body and it is even harder for her to let him touch her.

He doesn't deserve it. Ezra didn't do anything wrong. She, on the other hand, is devoured by pure egoism. Ezra loves her and she tells a man who is engaged, after two years of silence, that she is in love with him.

Desperately, she closes her eyes and lets him touch her. She allows him to stroke over her thigh tenderly. She allows him to brush the hair out of the way to breathe light kisses against her neck.

The tears burn in her eyes, when he whispers softly in her ear that he missed her because she has hardly thought of him. And even now she is missing another man.

She allows him to take off her blouse and to caress the curves of her breasts and she takes his hand when he guides her into their bedroom until it gives her relief when he rolls from above her to the mattress and she knows that it is over.

 **I know the ending of this chapter is pretty hard to read. Just want to underline that Ezra didn't rape her. I don't like Ezra. Not at all. But I don't think he would ever do this. She just didn't stop him and allowed him to do all these things with her... And I didn't want Ezra to be a bad guy because this would always create a reason why she is falling for Jason. And I want her to choose Jason although Ezra is a good boyfriend to her.**

 **Special thanks to GrimliFiendish for inspiring me to continue this story. I hope you like it!**


	5. Chapter 5

Jason switches between cold and warm water all the time. He still hopes that the warm water will completely relax him or that the cold water will finally wake him up. That it will awake him so that he finally stops dreaming.

For more than an hour he ran through the soothing warmth of the late summer. He decided to go jogging, as so often. After his sister's call this morning, he didn't want to do anything more than just run off his thoughts.

Instead of freeing himself, these thoughts have only possessed him a bit more with every step. After all, he ran with anger. Jason is angry at himself because she makes him lose his direction and doubt everything that has been reliable and safe for him days before.

Above all, he is angry at her.

He had just got up when his mobile phone was ringing incessantly. Nobody except for Spencer waits until he finally answers the call. Therefore, he knew it's her before he was able to read her name on the display.

 **"She left."**

That's what she said. Without a greeting. Without preparing him for this news. Only these two words.

Jason has barely heard what she said afterwards. But without hearing the meaning of her words, he could hear her sneering in every syllable. And he doesn't even know for whom this was meant for.

He knows that she thinks it is ridiculous that he doubted even for a second. As if she has always been absolutely sure in life.

But just as arrogant she talks about her longtime and good friend. As if it has been clear to her from the start that Aria would simply disappear.

But for him, nothing is clear now.

Actually, he should be relieved. She made a decision. Apparently, she has admitted that her sudden confession of love for him hasn't been that serious.

But for Jason, it doesn't feel like a conclusion. It doesn't sound like a decision. Instead, more and more questions confuse him in his head, to which he receives no answers. It just feels like the still unfinished chapter in his life.

In the afternoon, Jason turns around doubtingly in front of the mirror. In the reflection, he can see Wren's delighted face as he stands on the small elevation in the middle of the shop where he chose his suit for the wedding six weeks ago.

Only minor adjustments had to be made and the suit should now fit perfectly. And he probably does. But for Jason it just isn't perfect anymore.

Wren's smile has become a frown, because he also noticed the skeptical look of his best friend. "He's fitting perfectly, Jason", the best man assures the groom. But he still shakes his head doubtfully.

The tailor, who has carefully adjusted the suit, makes a face as if he has been personally offended. "Would you leave us alone for a moment?" Wren asks, smiling at the man so charmingly that his gaze brightens immediately and he leaves the room.

"It's still because of her, isn't it?" Wren asks as Jason sits down beside him on the chair. He doesn't even have to say her name. Jason looks silently to the ground and Wren sighs with satisfaction that he hit the mark so easily.

"Come on! You can't be serious! That one damn kiss has been five years ago. You were a bit crazy about her. I get that. She is really pretty. This isn't to be denied, but you can't question your future with Lauren because of such a harmless crush you had", Wren says horrified. Since Aria has appeared in Rosewood again, Wren finds it hard to understand his friend anymore.

Nervously Jason rubs his hand over his face. It is their secret. He never told anyone and she probably didn't tell anyone either. But he feels betrayed by her. That's why it doesn't matter to him now to tell Wren what happened.

"It wasn't just a kiss five years ago", Jason murmurs silently. "Do you remember that I worked in San Francisco two years ago?" Without looking at Wren at all or waiting for his answer, Jason continues.

"Aria was in town at the same time. I didn't know about it, but one day we suddenly crossed our paths. She had only arrived a few days before and she didn't know any person in that city. We met a few times."

Wren sinks a little deeper into the chair, as if he already knows how this story will end. Jason's heart pounds relentlessly because he fears the reaction of his friend. He breathes deeply and continues to talk.

"We didn't consider it as dates. But at some point, I took her to her hotel room in the evening and ... one thing led to another", he says looking at Wren, trying to see what his friend thinks. But he remains straight-faced.

"We met for about three months", Jason says sighing. "You had an affair with her?" Wren asks in surprise. "It wasn't an affair", Jason immediately contradicts. "It wasn't for me at least. And we were both single", Jason justifies himself.

"Aria has vacated her hotel room and moved into my apartment. Not official, but she was always there anyway. And it felt so good. I've never been happier than in those three months", he confesses to Wren.

Wren groans loudly. "These are quite fierce words when you consider that you are engaged to another woman", he notes.

"I know", Jason whispers. He could regret and revise these words after Wren has pointed out to him how wrong they are. But he doesn't. They are nevertheless the truth.

"What happened?" Wren now asks curiously. Jason needs a moment until he is able to answer his friend. "She got a job offer and went to Boston. Shortly afterwards, she was back with Ezra", Jason says.

He never allowed himself to really think about why she has left. Whether it was really just the decision for this job and she didn't know this would lead her back to Ezra. Or maybe this has been her intention.

No matter how, it was over. After that, they lost contact. They haven't seen each other for two years. Almost as long as he didn't receive any messages or news from her.

Until Spencer told him that she is back with Ezra and he has decided to finally let her go. Only a short time later he met Lauren and she seemed so perfect to forget Aria.

"If you marry Lauren", Jason startles as Wren's voice interrupts his thoughts. "If you marry her, you'll have to end up with your hopes for Aria. You can't think anymore, what if ... what would have happened and so on. Then there is only Lauren. Everything else is absolutely not fair and you can't do that to her", he appeals to his conscience.

Jason nods and buries his face in his hands. "But the suit is really perfect and I am standing next to you at the altar, no matter which woman walks to you", Wren says laughing and gives him a friendly slap on the back.

 **Please tell me what you think about this chapter. I like Wren a lot, so he became Jason's best friend in this story. Personally I always liked him a bit more than Toby and I just can't accept how things ended for him ;D**


	6. Chapter 6

Ezra examines the ring between his fingers. This morning he picked it up from the jeweler. A simple ring with a small sparkling diamond.

Over and over again he has thought about the right timing to ask her. For a long time, he has struggled to finally ask her. For some years already.

But he never felt that they were ready for it. He never wanted to make her decide to always stay with him. And often he felt that they didn't want the same in life. That they aren't in the same chapter in their lives.

After Aria had come back from her visit in Rosewood, she has changed. At first, he thought he has just imagined it.

At first, he thought she might be just stressed and in a bad mood. But this condition continued. For days and now over the last three weeks.

She seems cold and annoyed when he touches her. She is absent and uninterested when he tells her how his day has been. She seems impassive and tense when he wants to plan their future together with her.

He tried to find out what happened in Rosewood. At some point, Aria began to tell. She told how happy Spencer and Toby are. With bright eyes, she told how Spencer and Toby have found each other again after a long time.

Happily, she has told him that Hanna and Caleb are engaged. Excited, she told him the plans Hanna has told her for the wedding and sighing, Aria has announced how much she looks forward to the wedding.

Dreamily, she told him that Emily has fallen in love again. And that this time it seems to be really serious. Emily met a young woman on vacation in Hawaii, who has swept her of her feet completely.

Relived, she has sounded when she told him that Alison finally found her happiness. She fell in love with a colleague at the high school in Rosewood.

Aria has sounded so happy, but at the same time so dissatisfied. Ezra thought about it for a long time and finally he was sure Aria was waiting for the proposal from him.

He was sure that she was afraid of a standstill in their relationship, whereas all of her friends wallow in the happiness of the new.

Secretly, he has gone to the jeweler and has long searched for the right ring for his future wife. Although they have known each other for so long, it was hard for him to decide which ring fits best to her.

Only one day after he has chosen the ring, he found a letter in the mailbox. A letter, which has been addressed to Aria.

As much as the sender of the letter wanted to avoid that Ezra finds out who wrote the letter with the missing sender's return address, so much has he increased Ezra's curiosity and anxiety.

He quickly hid the letter and when Aria left the house, he pulled it out and read it.

Jason. DiLaurentis.

Anger rose in him, as he realized who wrote the letter. Jason wrote her this letter.

He is the reason for her changed behavior.

Not the plans of her friends. But another man.

He had already feared once that he would lose Aria to him. But he could avert it.

He won't allow it to happen this time either.

 _Why are you running away from your feelings...I have to think of you all the time...I've always liked you...You're so special to me..._

He has torn the letter with rage. She will never read what Jason wrote to her.

This letter has only encouraged him even more to make her a proposal. He couldn't lose her.

When they will be married, she has to forget Jason. He will always remind her that she has promised him to stay together. In good and bad times. She won't be able to leave him that easily.

Their relationship was difficult. For a long time, they had to fight for each other.

He has almost destroyed everything, when she figured out, what his intentions had been as he had spoken to her at the pub.

But the opportunity was too tempting. He had already researched on Alison's case for a long time. He knew every face of her friends. That's why he recognized Aria immediately.

He quickly realized that she could be one of his students. The town is small and there is only this one high school to which all the youngsters have to go. But he hadn't planned to start a relationship with her.

But he knew about his effect on the girls of the town. It wasn't difficult to spark her interest in him.

After that, it has proved to be very promising to keep in touch with Aria to write his book.

But somehow, he actually fell in love with her. Although he never wanted to be a teacher, he would have never risked his job, for a girl he didn't care about. After all, he has to earn money to stay independent of his parents.

But when Aria found out how their relationship started, he almost lost her. Since then, her love has never been the same again. Since then something has changed. But they were just used to being together. And somehow, they were used to being the perfect couple.

She has to stay with him.

With this thought in his head, he takes the small, red velvet box out of his pocket and falls to his knees in the evening.

He looks hopefully at her as he asks her the question of all questions and waits with a beating heart for her answer.

 _"Aria, will you marry me?"_

 ** _So what do you think? This is obviously Ezra's POV and I couldn't stop myself from a slightly Ezra bashing.  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

It was a cloudy, rainy September day and it has already been two years ago. Lauren got up in the morning and immediately wanted to go back to bed at her own sight. Her eyelids were swollen and her face was so pale that there seemed to be no life in her.

 _He isn_ _'_ _t worth it._ Time and again, she tried to remember this fact.

Nevertheless, she had cried herself to sleep. Nevertheless, she had imagined half the night, how another woman is now laying in his arms, with whom he has cheated on her more than once.

She had caught him. In flagrante. She didn't see him sleeping with the other woman, but she saw how he gradually fell in love with her. Nevertheless, he told her the truth much too late. And she closed her eyes to his betrayal for too long.

Actually, he didn't even tell her the truth. The truth was written cowardly on a sheet of paper that lay on the kitchen table when she came home and he had taken all his things with him.

She had called him. But he never answered the calls. She finally left him a message on his mailbox she wasn't proud of. But she had felt free and she knew that she had taken the first step to get over him.

Still, it hurt so terribly.

For a long time, she had to convince herself to get into the shower that day. Listless, she had applied her make-up and indiscriminately she had torn clothes out of her wardrobe because she had so little interest in what she was wearing.

Until the last second, she had wondered if she should really go to the birthday party of her new colleague. Spencer was nice and although they had known each other only for a few weeks, she didn't have the feeling to be invited only out of courtesy.

She thought that this is what she needs today, and has determinedly closed the door of her apartment behind her.

That day she'd met Jason.

Spencer had introduced Lauren to her brother and his charming smile lightened her mood immediately. There's no question about it, he was and is an incredibly handsome man.

But that alone would have never caught Lauren's interest that day. But Jason was so charming and they were talking for hours so easily that she had her first good day in a long time.

She hasn't hesitated a moment, when he has asked her for her mobile number and has suggested that they should meet again. When she had said goodbye to him in the evening, she already had a crush on him.

She had never thought or even hoped it would happen to her that day. But she had actually met the perfect man for her.

That is why she didn't hesitate as he proposed to her several months ago. She was surprised that he asked her so quickly. But she was absolutely sure. He and no other man can make her happy.

But suddenly she is not sure any more ...

At first, she noticed that he was awake at night. Just as long as she was, although he always fell asleep immediately. Meanwhile it takes forever to hear him breathing regularly.

Then she began to observe every little thing and questioned it. She shouldn't have done that. She probably also overestimated it all. But it just preyed on her mind.

She noticed that he can't look into her eyes for more than a moment. He touches her less. His kisses are no longer passionate. Let alone, anything else that seems more like a duty to him than that he really enjoys it.

He is absent and constantly lost in his thoughts.

At first, she thought it was just the excitement before the wedding, but when she was honest with herself, she doubted about her own hope.

Lauren has tried to determine the time when he changed so much. When she knew that it must have been Spencer's birthday, her heart has stopped beating for a moment.

She had noticed the brunette woman at the party. She was really pretty. But Lauren was even more concerned about the way that woman looked at her fiancée.

And she remembered the way Jason was looking at her. The longing in his eyes was so obvious that it made her uncertain.

Everything will repeat again. She will have to go through all this again. Even if she has tried to suppress and appease her fears. Lauren still knows that she can't run off or ignore it if they really have a problem.

 _"How long have Aria and Jason been together?"_

If Hanna has heard the fear in her voice, Hanna has persistently ignored it. Lauren had deliberately chosen Hanna to ask her this question and to get behind the story of Jason and Aria.

She was sure that Hanna would be chattering about it without thinking about why Lauren asked her this question at all.

Hanna has told Lauren that Aria had a crush on Jason. She told her that Aria always blushed as a thirteen-year old girl when Jason was just around and how she started to stutter when he asked her a question.

She told Lauren how surprised she had been when she noticed how Jason suddenly looked at Aria as well, when he thought no one noticed and how nervous he has been when he saw her.

Hanna has told her about the kiss and that Aria has rejected him and how much this has hurt him because there was no one in town he trusted more than Aria.

After all, she went home with the certainty that everything wasn't all right.

Listless and without appetite, she is now seated opposite him and pokes around in her food. They have hardly exchanged a word since he came home from work.

He doesn't even seem to notice how much Lauren is suffering because he is constantly thinking of another woman.

Suddenly, she lets the fork fall down on the plate, so noisily that he startles and sees the tears in her eyes.

"Who is Aria?" And when she sees how he is looking depressed and embarrassed away from her, Lauren knows they have a problem.

"I think we should talk", she whispers.

 **I know it is a bit cruel to let you sympathize with Lauren and let you feel pity for her. But what do you think? Please tell. And what should happen next?**


	8. Chapter 8

Aria's legs give in as he walks out of the door. Overwhelmed by what has just happened, she sinks to the floor. Protectively, she holds her hand to her chest because she fears that her heart would leave her body if she doesn't hold it.

Clearly, she can feel every single beat against her trembling hand. Uncontrollably fast and heavy, the air escapes jerkily out of her lungs. With wide eyes she looks around in her apartment and looks at the mess that he has left within a few minutes.

Ezra took her by surprise by asking her to marry him. She would never have thought that he would ask her these days. Aria thought that he doubted as well that they belong together forever. Aria was worried she could hide her secret feelings a little worse every day.

While Ezra wanted to commit himself to her forever, she had the feeling of moving further and further away from him every day. It was harder for her every day to endure his touch without the feeling that she was betraying herself.

Her thoughts were always centered around Jason. In the morning, noon, evening, at night. Again and again, she has wondered how he is doing and whether he is looking forward to his wedding and whether he is doing the final preparations. _Surely, he does that_.

For a brief moment she even wanted to say yes to Ezra's proposal, but as much as she tried she couldn't say a word. She froze as she stared down at him as Ezra knelt in front of her and looked at her impatiently.

He presented the sparkling diamond ring to her in the small velvet box. Like in a perfect romance movie in which a man and a woman had to fight for their forbidden love for a long time. Only that Aria doesn't want a happy ending. Not with him.

Finally, Ezra jumped up and shouted at her.

 _I knew it!_ Suddenly he was so close to her that he scared her.

 _How long did you want to play this game with me?_ Aria took a shaky step backwards. She would never have thought that she would ever be so afraid of him.

 _I gave up everything for you!_ Ezra reached for the tablecloth and tore on it, so that everything that was still on the lovingly set table, distributed in the room and fell clattering to the floor.

 _You are so ungrateful!_ Aria cringed and the tears were gathering in her eyes.

 _You don_ _'_ _t deserve me at all! You both deserve each other so much!_ How does he know about him? Aria wrapped her arms protectively around her as Ezra grabbed beside her and cleared the shelf with his arm.

 _He is just as unfaithful as you are and wrote you a letter while he is engaged to another woman!_ Suddenly her heart was beating not only fast because she was afraid of him but also completely out of rhythm. What letter did Ezra mean? Threateningly, Ezra stood in front of her. But Aria was unable to move. She just hoped that it will be over quickly and closed her eyes. She was all of a tremble.

 _Be happy with each other and never talk to me again!_ Ezra couldn't look at her anymore, but that moment he couldn't stand himself anymore. She is afraid of him and only expects him to hit her and he realized how unfamiliar they have become.

Like the sound from another world, the hum and the vibration of her mobile phone rings in her pocket as Aria sits shattered and motionless on the floor.

With trembling fingers, she pulls the phone out of her pocket and sees Spencer's name flashing on the screen. Although she isn't sure if she is in a position to deal with the still reproachful tone of her friend, she answers the call.

"Hi", is all she can say because the tears stifle her voice. "Hey Aria, you won't believe it, but I happen to be in town. I have to stand in for a colleague and now I am in New York", Spencer tells happily.

Spencer called her friend with mixed feelings as well. But even though she has been really angry, Aria has gone back to Ezra and Jason is still engaged to Lauren. Spencer has decided to leave this fight behind.

"That's great", Aria replies, but her voice trembles so much that Spencer can hear it immediately. "Aria, are you alright?" Spencer asks worriedly. Immediately, a heavy sob fills the line. "No", she whispers so timidly that the word is almost drowned out by her heavy sobbing.

"Are you home?" Spencer asks. Her voice is pervaded by the concern for her friend. "Yes", Aria replies. "I'll take a taxi and I'll be right with you", Spencer says but she doesn't hang up.

Instead, she tries to calm Aria down all the way. Pain fills Spencer's own heart because she knows that her friend is suffering so much. Hastily she stumbles up the stairs to Aria's apartment. Shocked, Spencer stops in the doorway. The front door wasn't even closed, but still a crack open.

Startled, she looks at the chaos in the room and at her friend, who is still sitting in the middle of the scattered objects like a heap of rubble.

Spencer lets her handbag fall to the floor and sits down next to Aria on the old wooden floor. Without saying a word, she wraps her arm around her friend and pulls her close.

For several minutes, Aria is unable to say what happened. Tears and heavy sobs keep her from telling her friend that her life has just changed by an important constant.

But she doesn't cry because she lost her love. She cries because she was with a man who ignored that she was unhappy. She cries because he has been so possessive and she has only felt obliged to stay with him.

She cries because she was relieved when he told her he never wants to see her again and he left. And not only because she was afraid of the man she once loved so much.

She felt trapped in this relationship. Trapped by the feeling that she owes it to him to stay with him because he has risked and given up so much for her. But the truth is, he's never really tried to make up for what he did to her years ago.

She never owed him anything. Because he has flirted with her with full awareness of who she is. He lied to her. For weeks. For months.

And now she has lied to herself. For weeks. For months. For years. She doesn't want to be with him. She doesn't love him anymore. She hasn't loved him for so many years...

 **What do you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

"I never cheated on you." Jason says that sentence and it's the truth, yet he can't look Lauren in the eyes. Because he still feels guilty and yet he has the feeling that he has cheated on her. Although he didn't do it physically.

"I know." Lauren replies and she actually meant it. She believes him. She knows he would never cheat on her and she knows he didn't betray her deliberately.

For a few minutes, the silence fills the space between them. Jason supports himself with his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands as if it is too heavy to hold it. Lauren is sitting on the same couch in a close distance and has her legs pulled close to her body. She embraces her legs with her arms as if she is protecting herself from falling apart.

"I can't tell you about her", Jason whispers finally and when he looks at Lauren, she can see how much this situation incriminates and upsets him.

"Because you know you'll hurt me with that?" Lauren asks softly. She pulls her legs a little tighter to her body.

Jason nods silently. The first tear runs down along Lauren's cheek.

"I want to know", Lauren assures him in a tear-stained voice. Jason looks at her for a long time, as if he is trying to figure out whether she is overtaxing herself. Sighing, he realizes that Lauren has already decided for herself. She wants to know the truth.

"You know that Aria is one of Alison's friends and we've known each other since she was a kid. She was 13 and I was 19 and Ali's friends always annoyed me so much. Only Aria didn't. Of course, I wasn't in love with her back then. It was much more innocent. But Aria contradicted Alison and she never did any of the stupid pranks Ali came up with for me. Aria never listened to what Alison told about me."

Lauren knows about Jason's past. She knows how much he used to struggle with life and she knows how difficult his relationship with his sister was back then.

"When we got older, I suddenly looked at her differently. My feelings for Aria had changed. But her presence made me too happy to convince myself that I shouldn't feel that way for her. In the time when we didn't know what had happened to Ali, she was my saving anchor for a short while."

Jason can't help but smile at the memories of the past. A smile that Lauren hasn't missed in the present.

"I didn't feel so lonely anymore ... until ... until she decided to be with another man and I felt so lonely like never before."

The pain in his voice is unmistakable. Lauren feels that he relives all the emotions he's just been telling her about.

"I never really got over her and every time we met, I knew she felt the same. But that only made things worse because I just never gave up hope that she would ever be with me."

Tears run down Lauren's cheeks because she knows how much this hope is destroying her own relationship now.

"Until she actually was mine. For amazingly beautiful three months. Before she left and before she went back to him."

Jason contorts his face with pain at the memories of that unspeakable hard moment when Spencer told him that she's back with Ezra.

"I was so sure that the anger at her finally is enough to forget her and then I met you."

For a brief moment, Lauren feels so much anger at him, but also at life, at the fate that led her to a man that day. The fate that led her to a man who wasn't ready to meet a new love yet. And suddenly she is sure that her relationship was doomed from the start.

"I was so sure that Aria isn't good for me and just keeps destroying me deep inside and that a relationship with her isn't good for me, whether it exists or not."

And Lauren even believes that he told himself that. With determination. Futile.

"I have been with everything I am in that relationship with you. I promise to you. For me, there was never a backdoor I ever wanted to go through. I really just wanted to be with you and I was so sure you were the right one. So sure, I proposed to you and I meant every word exactly as I said. I didn't plan it that way, Lauren. You have to believe me. I love you."

 _I love you too. But right now, I hate you so much because your words make the inevitable so difficult._

"The night before Spencer's birthday, we met by chance. Even though I've resisted enjoying her presence at all, I knew I was fooling myself the moment she confessed she was still in love with me."

Just as fast as Jason's heart pounded at the moment Aria tiptoed up to him, Lauren's heart is pounding with fear of hearing exactly what she already knows. It's over.

"The feeling I felt at that moment was nothing like what I've ever felt in my life."

Jason is as honest as he can be and Lauren knows it includes every feeling for her. She wanted him to be honest and tell her the truth, but for a second she regrets she didn't simply hush up the truth.

"I don't want to leave you. I love you", Jason repeats with all his powers of persuasion. "I didn't plan to run away with Aria when I saw her again. I have planned my future with you. I want to marry you and start a family with you. I want all those stuffy things. A child, a house, a big garden and a dog. I don't want to leave you. That wasn't my plan", Jason assures her desperately.

But Lauren knows that they would both lie to themselves. There is no going back. They both can't shut their eyes to the words and feelings Jason just said.

"But you have to. Because if you don't, I will do it. I'll leave you", Lauren says in tears. "And not because my love for you is not enough to fight for you. But because I won't compete with another woman in your heart during our marriage all the time. She is special for you. Already your whole life long. I can't keep up with that."

Jason's eyes are burning with tears. He was happy and he was so sure. Until a few weeks ago. And all of that is falling apart right in front of his eyes. He doesn't want to go into the unknown. He wants the security. He wants the woman by his side.

"She's gone. She has gone back to Ezra. I know that we will never have a real chance and I will no longer hope to be with Aria", Jason asserts.

Lauren would love to believe him. But the last few weeks have let her know that he can't finish with Aria.

"You don't know anything about women, if you really believe that. Did she tell you she doesn't want to be with you?" Lauren asks. "No", Jason replies. "So why do you think she doesn't want that? And you don't even know yourself if you think you can finish with her right now. Not after what she said to you and not because you still love her. Not after all these years you've always hoped that you would eventually be together."

Jason remains silent. He knows that he can't say anything that changes her mind. Because Lauren knows, much more what she wants than he does. And she doesn't want a man who doesn't just love her.

"I'm not even mad at you. I know that you have just told me the truth. You didn't do that on purpose. You didn't want to hurt me. But no matter if you talk to Aria or not. I won't marry you and I will leave you, Jason. I love you too much to keep you in a relationship where you aren't wholehearted and I love myself too much to be just your second choice. It's over, Jason."

 **It's pretty dramatic I guess. What do you think? I really appreciate to read your thoughts. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you feeling better?" Aria squints and looks at her friend who is just lying beside her in bed. Hours passed, in which Aria had slept exhaustedly, while Spencer had eliminated the chaos in her apartment.

Aria nods timidly as a tear runs down her cheek, as if it had been waiting for Aria to finally open her eyes again. Spencer watches her friend closely. So far Aria has still not been able to tell her why she is so upset.

Spencer had tried to comfort her and simply sent her to bed afterwards because she felt, that sleep would help Aria the most. She looked completely exhausted and deprived of all her strength.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Spencer asks cautiously. In fact, it's not hard to guess what happened. But she isn't so sure about some contexts. For example, what role Jason plays in all of this.

"Ezra proposed to me." Spencer's eyes widen in surprise. Although it shouldn't be that surprising, after all the years they have been together and after all the ups and downs they have coped together.

"And you said no." It's not even a question, but more a statement. "I didn't say anything", Aria says quickly, though that fineness doesn't actually matter that much. "But that doesn't make it any better", Aria adds mumbling.

With a shaky voice Aria tells how Ezra had lovingly set the table and finally pulled out the small box and knelt in front of her. But she also talks about the man who suddenly jumped up and shouted at her and reproached her. So much so that she's just frozen in fear of him and waited until it's over.

Attentively, Spencer listens. Finally, she notices how her own heartbeat is accelerating because she is so afraid to ask the next question. "Direct question, straight answer, ok?", She says and looks at her friend demanding. Aria nods and her heart races fastly because she already knows what Spencer wants to know.

"What role does my brother play in all of this?" For a moment Aria is so surprised that she can't answer immediately, though she knows the answer because she has been thinking about him for weeks. She was surprised, however, that Spencer titled Jason as her brother.

Aria doesn't remember Spencer calling him that. She had always spoken of him as Jason. Aria can't suppress the warmth in her body and the smile on her lips at the thought that Jason has finally found a family.

"Seeing him again opened my eyes", Aria says softly. Spencer sighs heavily and turns away from Aria. Although she expected that this encounter has been the beginning of the end of the relationship between Ezra and Aria, Spencer doesn't know what to think about it. Thoughtfully, she stares at the ceiling.

"I was happy with Ezra. For a while. But what happened in all these years, what we both did to each other and I know that I made mistakes too, made our love break a little bit more every time, without us even wanting to admit it. He was my safety when I needed it and I told myself it was love and that it was enough to stay together."

As difficult as it is for Aria to admit that her love for Ezra has been gone some time ago, she still knows she has made the right decision. She had to end this relationship and as horrible as she has behaved the last weeks, she also knows that Ezra wanted to marry her for the wrong reasons.

"When I met Jason shortly before your birthday, that safety suddenly felt like a huge load. I haven't been so happy for such a long time and haven't laughed so carefree as I did with him that night. I knew that I wasn't so happy with Ezra and that I would never be anymore. Not after that time I spent with Jason in San Francisco."

Suddenly and abruptly Aria's story ends. Instead, she stares at Spencer startled, waiting for her reaction. Because she just slipped out that she spent time with Jason in San Francisco. She never told anyone about it. Not even Spencer.

Spencer didn't miss that. Neither what Aria said nor her look after it, which has betrayed her even more. "I know about it", Spencer says sighing. "Jason told me himself." Aria looks at her in surprise.

"Aria I'm sorry I stood in front of your door shouting at you while you couldn't explain anything to me with a single word. I don't think you are a bad person. You are my friend and not without a reason. For a long time, I was convinced that you would be a perfect match for my brother."

Aria's eyes are getting bigger and bigger as she hears the words her friend is saying. She would never have thought Spencer had even thought about it before. She never thought her feelings for Jason were ever so obvious as they were these days.

"But I picked up the pieces that you left behind", she says suddenly reproachfully, but Aria doesn't understand what she means. "After your time in San Francisco, of which I didn't know anything at that time, I told Jason, without even knowing what that information meant to him, that you were back with Ezra."

The sudden anger in Spencer's eyes scares Aria. Of course, she wondered how Jason heard about it and how he felt about it. Of course, she wondered, whether he didn't care or he was angry at her. In fact, she had even thought of him at more often that time than she probably should have.

"An hour later Jason called me again and asked me to come to him immediately. When I arrived, he sat crying and on the floor in front of a full glass of whiskey."

Suddenly, Aria understands Spencer's anger at her. Because suddenly she is angry with herself. How could she just leave him? She hadn't even broken up with him. She had a job offer and just left. That's even worse than a break up.

"He told me everything and that's when I hated you, Aria. I hated you so much because you hurt him so much, and I just couldn't understand you. You used him to make yourself a good time and then you went back to Ezra. This is the reason, why I didn't call you all these years. I was so disappointed in you."

Aria can't blame her friend. She is also disappointed in herself. She is disappointed that to this day she didn't know what she actually did to Jason. She was always afraid to know what he thinks about her now.

She was afraid she would find out that he didn't care about her. But she was just as afraid to learn that he suffered from hearing that she had returned to Ezra. "Why? Why did you go back to Ezra?" Spencer asks.

"I was convinced that I was making it too easy. That I should fight for the relationship with Ezra instead of starting a new one with Jason. Although it felt so good. I was convinced that Ezra and I are meant for each other and that he was my soulmate. I was convinced that love can't feel so easy. I thought it could just be love when it's hard and you have to fight for it."

Aria slaps her hands in front of her eyes and starts crying and sobbing violently again. The realization that she hasn't been with the right man feels so relieving and yet so hard at the same time. Because she is too late.

"My anger at you has only faded away, because Jason met Lauren and finally was happy and you left him alone. If I had known that you suddenly confess your love and he doubts everything, I wouldn't have invited you, Aria. I swear that to you."

As hard as Spencer's words are to endure, Aria understands every word so well. Spencer is right. She has to leave him alone. She missed her chance. She has to let him happy. Without her. Because he doesn't need her to be happy.

"I'll leave him alone, Spence. I promise you. He is happy, he wants to marry Lauren and I won't destroy that. I made a big mistake back then. Not only did I have a good time with Jason. I was happier than ever. But I was wrong and I know that. I have to live with it, Spence", Aria says with red-rimmed eyes.

"Good, because he's happy and didn't choose to run after you again, okay?" Spencer doesn't know if she's doing the right thing. In fact, she knows that her brother has much more doubts about whether he should really marry Lauren than she just admits. And maybe she should tell Aria exactly that.

But she doesn't have the heart to give her brother another reason to let him doubt. It won't be her who tells him that Aria broke up with Ezra. _Because of him_. Jason was so happy in the last few months. She can't tell him…

"Ezra said that Jason wrote me a letter", Aria says suddenly, after they both lay thoughtfully and silently in bed.

"Goddamn. That idiot." At that moment, Spencer knows it's too late to stop Jason from doubting...

 **I'm not so sure about this chapter but please tell me what you think and what should happen next?**


	11. Chapter 11

_Montgomery / Fitz_

Jason lifts his trembling fingers. He looks concentrated at the target but his arm feels as heavy as lead. He stares at the doorbell for several minutes. His head feels empty. He doesn't even know why he stands there.

Of course, he knows. But he can't even remember the way to this house. It was as if he had boarded the plane as if he was controlled by someone else. It was as if he was watching himself saying the taxi driver the address of her apartment.

The taxi driver had looked at him for a moment, as if he wasn't sure he didn't have a madman in his vehicle. Jason hadn't reacted to any of the driver's attempts to engage him in a casual conversation the entire ride. He had just looked silently out of the window.

And now he is standing in front of her door and suddenly the memories of the evening fill his head, when his fate was sealed and he completely fell for her.

 _Two years earlier_

Silently and deeply lost in her own thoughts, Aria walked beside Jason down the corridor to her hotel room. With the palm of her hand, she stroked the skirt, which she put on after long deliberation.

She had pulled almost every piece of clothing out of her suitcase and held it in front of her. She had changed a few times. She wanted to take his breath away. She wanted him to look at her and see the woman she became.

It's been two weeks since she met Jason suddenly and unprepared in the street. Never before had she been so happy to see a familiar face. In this strange city, where she knew no one.

Actually, she could never claim to really know Jason. For years, he has just been the older brother of Alison. Admittedly, the very handsome and really interesting older brother of Alison. Even though she was perhaps the only one who shared that opinion.

But beyond that, she never really knew him. Still, it felt like she has met an old friend again. Being with him felt like the little piece of home that she had been looking for in vain in this city and now she had finally found it.

They had met. Already five times. As friends. They never really talked about it or gave it a name, but actually it was obvious to her he just wanted to be nice.

Still, Aria hoped she wasn't just imagining that her sight made him nervous for a moment when he picked her up tonight. But maybe she just hoped exactly that so much that she actually imagined it.

Aria hoped that the same thing happened to him as it did to her the moment she saw him. Already on the first evening. He has made her nervous. She couldn't deny it. She's already felt that way the first time she met him. When she was only 13 years old. And she couldn't deny that she was still thinking about the kiss they shared. For days she was only thinking about that one kiss.

But as they walked down the corridor of the hotel, side by side, but with a noticeable distance, Aria doubted so much that he has even the slightest interest in her that she wanted to hide under her blanket.

Because tonight she flirted so obviously with him, that he really can't have missed it. But if he has no interest, the evening was really just embarrassing and he's probably terribly annoyed by her.

 _Now or never._ Because if she didn't know, what he was thinking about her, she would have never dared to call him again. "Jason?" She said, ending the minutes of silence between them. Startled, Jason looked up. He was deeply lost in his thoughts as well.

"Was that a date?" As soon as she's asked him this question, Aria held her breath. She was surprised that she has said these few words so quickly and so straight to him.

Her heart was pounding. The blush that was caused by her unstoppable heartbeat rose up her face.

Jason just stared at her. His lips moved, but no sound escaped his mouth.

Nervously, Aria was no longer able to withstand his gaze. It took way too long. It took far too long for him to answer her. _He doesn_ _'_ _t want you. He just doesn_ _'_ _t know how to tell you._

Nevertheless, more and more words tumbled out of her mouth without even thinking about what she was saying for a second.

"You probably just wanted to be nice, and I'm really embarrassing you at the moment, but I changed clothes five times today and flirted with you all night. I know that I was always your little sister's friend, but you also kissed me. And since we met again, all I can do is stare at your lips and imagine how it would feel if you kiss me again. Because I really never forgot that one kiss and I want you to know that and I want you to know that I want it to be a date. If you don't want that, please tell me before I continue to make a fool of myself while you're just wanted to be..."

Aria faltered as she looked up and realized he's suddenly so much closer to her than he was seconds ago. She felt his warm breath on her cheek and because she didn't know where to put it, she put her hand on his trained chest.

Aria's heart beat a little faster when she realized that his heart was beating as fast as her own. The warmth of his hand on her cheek flew through her entire body as he gently laid his soft lips on hers and kissed her so tenderly that she went weak at the knees.

In this moment she felt like she was 16 again and she was standing with him on the street in Rosewood. It was like this kiss would take her back to another time. But this time she didn't stop him from kissing her. She didn't push him away.

This time she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. A light moan escaped her lips as his tongue gently and slowly explored her mouth.

Nothing in the world could have interrupted this moment for Aria. Except maybe Jason's voice, which she heard whispering into her ear, as he gently breathed light kisses against her neck.

"You've always been more to me than a friend of my little sister."

As if it had been these words that Aria still needed to hear, she opened the door to her hotel room without even moving a step away from Jason and pulled him with her smiling.

 **What do you think? I know you probably wanna read what Jason and Aria will have to say to each other but this will be the next chapter. So don't worry.**


	12. Chapter 12

"What are you doing here?"

Spencer resists the urge to simply let the door close again and leave him standing behind it. As if she could pretend that she had never seen him and as if she could prevent him from talking to Aria.

"Spence?" With a pounding heart, Jason had walked up the steps to her apartment. He had arranged the words he wanted to say to her. But he didn't expect to find his sister here.

Aria is still lying tiredly and powerless in her bed. She had asked Spencer to open the door when it rang. She didn't expect a visit and almost didn't care who would like to visit her. But she didn't want to be rude, so she sent her friend to open the door.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asks, just as surprised. As much as he is always happy to see his sister, it would have been easier for him, if she wasn't standing in front of him at the moment. He knows that she won't be pleased with how his life has developed in the last few hours.

And he also knows that she isn't thrilled that he is standing in front of Aria's door. Spencer had been incredibly happy when Jason told her about his wedding plans with Lauren. And even though Lauren is Spencer's friend, he knows there was more than one reason, why Spencer was so happy that there was finally a woman in his life.

Spencer was his greatest help when he returned from San Francisco and knew she was back with Ezra. He stood in front of the shards of his hopes. He had felt completed with her. He thought that he had finally found the love of his life in Aria. No, actually, he was absolutely sure that no other woman could replace her for him.

But suddenly he was sitting in front of the glass filled with whiskey. Suddenly tears flew down his cheeks and suddenly everything felt so worthless again.

Spencer saw him at one of his hardest days and he can't blame her for not being thrilled that he's standing in front of Aria's door. He knows that she is worried about him and he is grateful that there is someone who does that.

"I happen to work in the city and visit Aria", Spencer explains. Deliberately, she doesn't talk about the hours she had to comfort and cheer Aria up because she ended her relationship with Ezra. If she wants to stop Jason from getting involved with Aria, then she can't tell him that.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer asks repeatedly, especially emphasizing the _you_. Because this isn't about her. It's about why _he_ is back at her door.

Jason lowers his head. All the words he just put together, have disappeared out of his head. He doesn't even need to answer her anymore. Spencer suspects what happened when she sees his shamed look anyway.

"No", she says suddenly. "No, no, no! You can't be serious!" With sparkling eyes she looks at him. She picked up the pieces! She also helped him to find his happiness! How could he do that?

"May I come in?" Jason asks carefully. Slowly, he thinks it is uncomfortable to discuss his love life in the hallway. Spencer pulls him into the apartment by his arm and shuts the door of the kitchen behind them so Aria can't hear his voice.

"You won't marry her, will you?", Spencer's voice sounds reproachful and accusatory and he can't even blame her.

Jason shakes his head silently but his eyes ask her to understand him, even if it's hard for her.

"We decided together that it's ... the fairest if we won't get married and if we break up", he adds after a pause.

Shaking her head, Spencer looks at him. "Lauren was so in love with you. She was so looking forward to this wedding. How could you? Why are you hurting her so much? She's such an amazing woman", Spencer says and no spark of understanding can be heard in her voice.

"I know", Jason says, his voice so loud and so desperate that Spencer fears that Aria has become aware of him. "Lauren is an amazing woman. She is warmhearted and intelligent and loyal and beautiful..."

"And why did you break up with her?" Spencer interrupts him angrily. "You were happy with her. You wanted to marry her!" Meanwhile, Spencer no longer tries to be quiet anymore.

"Because she deserves a man who appreciates her. She deserves a man for whom there is no other woman and I am not that man!" Breathlessly, Jason stares at his sister.

"I'm constantly thinking of another woman. Even while I'm with Lauren. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that!" Desperately, Jason hides his face behind his hands.

"Lauren noticed that I've changed. She has noticed that something is wrong. I wanted to change her mind and promised her to stop thinking about Aria, but she's right. She shouldn't have to compete with another woman. I feel like I owe it not just me but also her that I'm talking to Aria. Our relationship can't have failed because of my feelings for Aria, without clarifying those feelings for me with Aria."

Spencer doesn't know what to say. Part of her knows that he is right and that she might even be relieved for Lauren that he realized before the wedding that she wasn't the right person for him. But Spencer worries so much about her brother that she can't be happy for him.

"She's your friend, Spence", Jason says softly and Spencer knows right away that he doesn't mean Lauren, but Aria. He wants to make her understand that she really has no reason to be so worried, after all, Aria isn't her friend without a reason.

"I know", Spencer says sighing. "But she hurt you so much and even if she's my friend. I didn't forgive her."

Jason smiles sympathetically at her. Never would he have thought a few years ago that Spencer would be at his side at that moment. He walks up to her and puts his arms around her.

"You have no idea how thankful I am that you're my sister, but that's my decision and I'm ready to forgive Aria. So, you should consider whether you might be able to forgive her, too", he murmurs so silently that even Aria can't hear them as she is standing in the doorway and watches them.

 **I changed my mind a bit. I always wanted the writers of pll to give us more Jason and Spencer sibling moments. So I wrote it myself. Hope you like it :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**It took me ages to update and I'm sorry. But I'm happy that you still continue to read this story :)**

His angry voice carried through her subconscious into her restless dreams. Suddenly, he stood in front of her, screaming desperately at her and begging her to stay with him and to give them a chance. Bathed in sweat and with a pounding heart she had woken up.

With every second that passed, the realization became clearer that this was just a dream. But her beating heart still didn't calm down. Because his voice was real. Clearly, though unintelligible, she could hear his voice in her apartment and knew that not everything was just a dream.

The memories flooded her memory. All those memories of their time they spend together that weren't just dreams, but still felt so real that she got goosebumps all over her bare arms.

Aria remembered the feeling of the warming sun kissing her awake in the morning after spending their first night together in her hotel room. She can still feel the sense of panic and uncertainty that came over her when she realized she was alone in the large bed.

And she can even better remember how that feeling was replaced by the feeling of embarrassment and vulnerability as he came to her topless with a steaming cup of coffee and sat down on the bed in opposite of her.

Nervously, she had stared into the cup of brown liquid. So conspicuously that he had asked her if there was a reason why she couldn't look him in the eye anymore.

For a moment she had looked at him and seen his uncertainty in his eyes and felt awful. "You are Ali's brother and"

"Stop it!" His voice interrupted her so fast and so determined that she startled. "I'm Ali's brother and you're her friend, but we're not just that. First and foremost, you're Aria and I'm Jason. That's what we were yesterday, just like in this moment. Don't pretend that's the problem now!"

Aria looked him in the eyes and she knew he wasn't mad. Not really. Only determined to prevent her from seeking excuses.

"You're right," she sighed. "But first and foremost, last night I was Aria, who decided to throw all her principles and plans overboard and sleep with you."

Jason had imagined this morning differently in his mind. He had approached her confidently and was smiling to her. He hadn't doubted for a second that they might have made a mistake. But suddenly he only looked disappointed to the ground and it broke Aria's heart to see him like this.

"What was your plan?" Jason asked uncertainly and Aria realized that he was actually afraid of her answer. "Getting things right. To give us time", she said hesitantly. "To show you that I want more." Ashamed, she immediately looked away while Jason raised his head.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't want to put pressure on you. I mean, we only had sex. I'm sorry." In vain, Aria tried to hide her red cheeks with her hands. Jason could feel the trembling of her fingers as he took her hands in his and pulled them away from her face. "Aria, I would have never slept with you just to have sex with you", he whispers softly to her.

With equally silent words, she had whispered to him that she was starting a new job. In Boston. The very next day. Three months later.

They sat together at breakfast and Aria poked around in her cereal. For two weeks she's already known she has to leave. But for two weeks she has said nothing. Instead, she ignored it, kept it as a secret and denied it.

She slept with him. Beside him. With him. They ate at the same table, sat on the same couch. Closely entwined. She enjoyed his warmth and he listened to her steady breathing.

But now it's over.

 _When?_ He had asked in a faltering voice and she was staring at the milk on her spoon and murmuring _today._

Disappointed, he jumped up from his chair and walked up and down the room.

 _What about me? I asked you to come to Ethiopia! You said you_ _'_ _ll think about it! Did you really seriously think about it for a second or did you already know that you will go? Without me._

Aria didn't answer him, but her eyes said more than any word. Stunned, he looked at her as if a stranger was sitting in front of him.

He had taken his jacket and paused one last time as he stood at the door.

 _I have to be alone for a moment now. Promise me that you won_ _'_ _t go until we have talked again._

Relieved, he could hear her murmuring a soft _Ok_. Just before he closed the door behind him.

But when he returned to his apartment only an hour later, she was gone. Only a small piece of paper laid on the kitchen table.

Her writing wasn't curved elegantly. Instead, he could see from the flow of the ink that she held the pencil with trembling fingers.

But all that didn't change that his heart broke in two, the moment he read the few words on the paper.

 _I_ _'_ _m sorry_

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. As if she is remote-controlled her lips formed these words again and again, as Aria walked with quiet steps across the hall so that she was able to hear his voice more and more clearly.

She felt as if she were in a parallel world while she was watching Spencer and Jason. Whereas the two didn't even seem to notice her. She couldn't understand a word. Still, she was sure she deserved none of his words.

 **Hope you get the time line right. What do you think of this chapter?**


	14. Chapter 14

Spencer's facial expressions turn serious and hard as she sees that Aria is watching them. With her whole body she exudes how big her concerns are. Even though she was a good friend to Aria last night, she is now much more the worried sister. But she knows she can't stop the two from talking to each other and Jason is probably right.

She should forgive her friend. Spencer knows how much Jason loves Aria and that he will never be happy again until he tries to get back to be with Aria. She knows every quality of Aria that has made her brother to fall for her.

Nevertheless, she can't help but whisper two words softly in her brother's ear to protect his heart. Even though Spencer knows he hasn't had the power over his own heart for a long time.

 _Be careful._

Without a word, she hugs Aria and reaches for her bag, which is already packed in the hallway. Without looking back, she leaves the apartment. The two don't need her at this moment and although she is concerned for the heart of her brother she knows that none of them will call her crying this night.

"Hey", Aria whispers softly as the silence fills the room. "Hey", Jason replies with a catch in his voice and smiles timidly at her. Without thinking Aria approaches him with slow steps. Until she suddenly stops uncertainly.

She wants to feel him. His warmth, his heartbeat, his breath. She wants to hug him. But she can't. It is as if there were still so many words left unspoken between them. So many words that build a wall between them that they first have to break through.

"How do you know where I live?", Aria suddenly asks, as if it is the most important thing to clarify this question at the moment. "Alison told me." Aria nods, as if it would have been superfluous to ask that question at all. "That's why I was able to write you the letter", Jason adds hesitantly.

 _The letter. Ezra mentioned it. Jason wrote her._

Aria has noticed that he has deliberately mentioned this letter. She didn't answer him. Because she didn't know about the letter. Because Ezra hid it from her. Because Ezra knew exactly what Jason has written to her in the letter and because he didn't like the content.

"I didn't get the letter", Aria says softly but she doesn't even seem to recognize Jason anymore. She is too absorbed in her own thoughts. She is thinking about the last night when Ezra yelled at her and told her about the letter and she is thinking about her hopes that have kept her busy all night. Why has he written her?

"I mean, the letter was in my mailbox. But I was never able to read it because Ezra read it before me", she adds after looking at Jason and noticing the puzzled expression on his face.

Of course. How could he be so stupid? She doesn't live alone here. He should have considered the possibility of Ezra finding and reading the letter. And that Ezra prevented Aria from reading this letter.

"I know that I should have never written this letter to you. But I didn't want us to do the same mistake again. I just wanted to talk to you and not just run away." He keeps quiet that it was always Aria who ran away. First because of her uncertainty and fear and then to protect him, his life and his happiness.

Determined, Jason approaches her and effortlessly breaks the distance between them. Aria's heart pounds unstoppably as she suddenly feels his cold hands on her skin. He gently strikes her arms and reaches for her trembling fingers.

For a moment he is so close to her and his gaze is so penetrating that she thinks he wants to kiss her. But there are still a lot of unspoken words.

"Forget Lauren and try to forget Ezra. Just for a moment", he whispers softly and his eyes are so warm and familiar that she gets dizzy because she realizes how long she has been spending time with the wrong person. "There is just you and me. Nothing else matters. Just you and me. It only depends on what you feel for me and what I feel for you. Just you and me", Jason repeats over and over again.

Aria's eyes are wide open. The thoughts flood her mind. But no word escapes her lips. She wants to tell him everything. Everything she feels for him. She wants to tell him that she has broken up with Ezra and she wants to tell him that she is sorry. She wants to apologize for all the pain she has caused him and never miss a day to try to make it up to him.

But no word escapes her lips. When he steps back insecurely, she becomes panic-stricken. "Ezra proposed to me", she suddenly says tremulously.

Jason's hands separate from hers. He steps back with uncertain steps. He can't look at her anymore and looks down. "You got to be kidding me", he whispers raising his head.

Again, she sees the disappointment and pain in his eyes. All the feelings she never wanted to cause to him again. And suddenly she knows that Jason has taken this information very differently than she intended it. He simply assumes that she said yes when Ezra proposed to her. How should he know what happened last night?

No! No! She wants to keep him from misunderstanding everything, but she just stands frozen in front of him. What's up with you? Why can't you just tell him that you only want him? Why don't you get a sound out?

"I just can't believe it", Jason says shaking his head. "You do it again. I thought you really want to give us a chance and now it all happens again. I'm always your second choice. You'll always choose him."

The pain in his voice makes Aria's heart heavy. Disappointed Jason walks out of the kitchen and runs to the front door. He just wants to leave this apartment and finally leave her behind. He has to finish with her. Spencer is right. How could he just make the same mistake again and again?

The panic in Aria increases. She has to stop him from leaving. Because this time he won't come back. Not again.

At last her feet leave the ground. Although her legs feel heavy like lead, she runs after him and quickly shuts the door he just opened. Breathlessly, she stands in front of the old door and looks deeply into his reddened eyes.

"I didn't say yes. I left him. Ezra and I aren't together anymore", she says so quickly that she almost swallows the words.

"Just you and me. That's what I want, if you want it too. I want you. Just you", Aria says breathlessly, watching how the tear slowly flows down his cheek.

And she hears her own heart break in the moment he turns around and moves away from her thoughtfully...

 **I'm not sure about this chapter but what do you think? Please tell me :)**


	15. Chapter 15

The blood in her legs sinks to the ground and she goes weak at the knees. To keep herself up, she wraps her arms around her body. For a brief moment, Aria can empathize how Jason has felt when he confessed his feelings to her. When he became vulnerable and destructible and when he has been waiting for her to answer him.

Her heart is pounding against her chest, her cold fingers are trembling incessantly. Her shaking increases when he turns around and look at her again. His look is so unfathomable that her fear doesn't reduce a bit. What if they missed their time to be together?

But suddenly Jason's eyes soften and his eyes are filled with the warmth that Aria is so familiar with. Gently, Jason approaches her. Tenderly, he strokes a strand of hair from her face. Aria's skin feels electrified as he slowly traces her neck with his fingers.

"I think we should just talk", Jason finally whispers. Although she would like to do nothing more than to just kiss him at the moment, Aria knows it's the most reasonable thing to do. Even if she is afraid of this conversation, she can't deny that a honest conversation between them has not taken place so far.

When Aria hesitantly agrees with a nod, he takes her hand and carefully pulls her to the couch. But for a while both remain silently sitting side by side, as if they first have to sort out their feelings for themselves before they are able to express them.

"I'm sorry I left without talking to you again", Aria says quietly. "But I knew I was going to make it harder and I wasn't able to explain it to you anyway." Aria's voice trembles at every word.

"I thought it's the best if everything remains as it is", she sighs, knowing she was wrong. "What changed your mind?" Jason asks.

"It was nothing like it was before I saw you again. As much as I've tried to persuade myself that I'm just living on with my old life, it wasn't the same anymore. I felt uncomfortable near Ezra. I've withdrawn more and more and I've always felt like I was cheating on him because I could only think of you all the time."

The small smile on his lips warms her heart. "The realization that I can't live like that hit me the moment he proposed to me yesterday. I felt trapped. I should have known he'd ask me that question sometime, but it wasn't until I heard that question that I knew I had to end it."

Jason listens silently. Finally, she talks. Finally, he receives answers.

"I'm sure Ezra realized something was wrong. In any case, he didn't make this proposal out of love for me. I hope for him that he realizes that we weren't meant for each other."

For a moment, Aria hesitates and looks Jason deeply in the eyes. "Ezra has taken it pretty badly", Aria whispers and she notices how Jason shifts his weight uneasily. "He yelled at me and threw things through the room. I've never seen him like this before."

"Did he touch you?" Jason asks, and Aria can see that the anger is sparkling in his eyes. Quickly she shakes her head. "No, he just frightened me to death", Aria replies and Jason nods in relief, though he realizes how upset Aria still is.

"What would you have done if I hadn't appeared in your apartment ?" Aria just looks at him for a moment. She knows what he hopes to hear from her. But the truth is that she didn't intend to do that.

"Honestly, n-nothing", she says stuttering. She wants to be honest with him, but the disappointment in his eyes breaks her heart again.

"I just went back to New York because I decided it would be best to stay with Ezra and for you to marry Lauren. The fact that I chose Ezra doesn't mean I would have destroyed your happiness. I wouldn't have try to prevent the wedding", Aria says and she is sure that's what she means.

She wants him to be happy. If he isn't happy with her, she has to live with the fact that she has lost her chance with him. "I also promised Spencer to leave you alone", Aria adds softly. Jason buries his face in his hands and moans.

"We broke up", he blurts out. He looks straight at Aria because he wants to see her reaction and because he doesn't even feel like talking about his own breakup and his own ruptured wedding.

Aria looks at him with wide eyes. Her lips move, but she doesn't say any sound. The feelings in her head and in her whole body follow in quick succession.

She is surprised and relieved but also nervous. Because that means that they are both single and that means that there is no reason ... doesn't it? But at almost the same moment she has a bad conscience.

She is the reason. Just because she showed up in Rosewood and told in love-crazed that her heart still beats a bit faster in his presence, they broke up. His life was in order. He knew what his future should be like. And she destroyed that.

And the next moment she just feels for him. Because she knows what it feels like to have just said goodbye to the person who was supposed to play the biggest role in life.

"Lauren wasn't the one who ignored that something was wrong. It was me. But I know she's right. It would have been wrong to marry her. Still, I feel like a big asshole." The pain and guilty conscience fill Jason's voice.

"I know", Aria whispers, reaching for his hand sympathetically. "I never wanted to hurt Ezra like that either", she adds softly. He can barely feel the coldness of her fingers because his own hand feels just as freezing cold.

"I didn't want to be the reason why your relationship ends. I'm sorry", Aria says as tears fill up her eyes.

"Oh, come on." Aria gets frightened as he pulls away from her and jumps up. "Stop apologizing!" He says louder than intended. "You said you want me. Just you and me. Those were your words!" Angrily, he looks at her.

"Do you want that?" Aria nods. The tears flow down her cheeks, overwhelmed by his violent reaction. "If that's what you want, then this break up can't hurt you", Jason says. He doesn't want to call her a hypocrite, but he still wants her to be honest. "That's not true. I'm really sorry", Aria defends herself in tears.

"Stop apologizing! It's not your fault that Lauren and I broke up. It's mine. Alone mine. Because I couldn't stop thinking of you either!" Jason stands breathlessly in front of her.

Aria escapes a violent sob. Because she realizes that her first honest conversation will cost them both some strength.

 **I'm sorry for all grammar errors ;D What do you think? I'm sorry that I ended this chapter at that point but of course you can hope for more. Any ideas how their conversation should develope?**


	16. Chapter 16

Aria hears a rushing noise in her ears and feels the beating of her heart. She can't look at Jason as she thinks about what he has just said to her. If she does, she would see how upset he is and how much she has messed up his life. She's to blame because she acted selfishly. He can't free her from that feeling.

"You think I'm a bad person and I understand why", Aria whispers finally ashamed. "But I'm really sorry. Maybe I'm not sorry that you two broke up and that you're single again. But I still feel sorry for Lauren", she adds reassuringly. She lifts her head up and looks at him. "I never wanted to be the woman who steals the man off someone else", she says in a shaky voice as another tear flows down her cheek.

Jason looks at her stunned. His words were harsh and hard to bear for her. Jason didn't mean to cause that she blames herself so badly. He didn't want to give her that feeling. Jason looks down at himself, as if he could look at himself in the mirror and suddenly he realizes how his behavior has to look for her. He doesn't want their conversation to take this turn. He didn't come here to blame her. Jason tries to calm down and don't let the hurt dominate his behavior. At a small distance, he sits down beside her and reaches for her hand.

"Aria, don't twist the words I said the way you think I would say them. It's not about me considering you to be a bad person. You're not. But you have to be honest with me at last. Really completely honest. Otherwise it won't work out!" _And I want it to work out. I want it to finally work out and never ending again._

"You didn't steal Lauren the man. You told me that you are still in love with me. But when you knew that I was engaged, you made no more attempts to win me over. On the contrary, you have left me in complete uncertainty. You ignored all my attempts to speak with you. If that's what I've wanted, I wouldn't have talked to you ever again and married Lauren."

It touches Aria how much he wants to assure her he made that decision himself. But if she hadn't showed up in Rosewood, he would still be engaged now.

"I never wanted to be the other woman", Aria says quietly, her gaze looking to the ground in embarrassment. Jason has no idea what to say anymore to convince her that she said the words he has always wanted to hear at exactly the right moment.

"Aria, did you just listen to me at all? What do you think who you are for me?", he replies stunned. But when he looks at her, he knows she really can't answer that question.

"You say that as if you were a strange woman for me, whom I met and who suddenly brought excitement into my orderly life. Only for a short period of time. For whom I left my wife and put everything on the line, only to realize after a while that the new became familiar again. You say that as if you were an insignificant affair. In truth, you are so far from insignificant for me as you can imagine."

He looks so deeply at her that goose bumps spread on her body. "I didn't want to see you to blame you and make you feel bad. I am here because I want you."

Aria isn't sure if he deliberately chose those words. Because he still looks her in the eye as deep as if he hadn't noticed that he has sparked an unbelievable heat between Aria's legs.

A heat that intensifies as he reaches for her bare legs and lays them over his lap, leaving no room between them. Aria holds her breath audibly as he put his hand under the light fabric of her shorts that she still wears from the night. But when Jason becomes aware of his action and looks at her, he sees no discomfort in her eyes.

"What did San Francisco mean to you?" His eyes are staring at hers. They have reached the topic. They have to talk about it. He doesn't mean the place. He means their little common world that they have shared for three months. At the thought of it, a smile appears in her face. But the next moment she bites her lip to suppress the smile.

Yet, it was the smile on her face that he hoped to discover when she thinks of the days and nights in his apartment. But Aria feels that her smile was inappropriate. He wants to talk to her honestly and she shouldn't think about how he lay naked between the bedsheets.

"I was happy", Aria whispers softly. "Being with you made me happy." Jason believes her. She was happy and that's why he doesn't understand how things ended between them.

"Was I just an affair for you?" Aria looks at him shocked of this thought and her hand gently touches his cheek. "No", she says firmly. But she knows why he asked this question. She behaved just as if he had been nothing more to her than an affair.

"I understand why you think that. I left as if we had nothing to discuss. I have decided that I couldn't have a lasting relationship with you. But it wasn't just about the sex and the fun. I was always caring for you."

Jason bites his teeth and tightens the jaw. Her words sound empty. They are meaningless. He still doesn't understand why she left.

"Why did you leave me?" He asks, trying to make his voice sound as calm and free of anger and disappointment as it's possible for him.

"We lived together in our own little bubble. We sometimes spent days in bed. Or you went to work and I passed the time and waited for you to come home. I was unemployed, Jason. I felt useless and dependent."

Aria looks at him as if she would have to hope for understanding in his eyes. And yet it was her ambition, her imaginativeness and her boldness, which he liked so much about her.

"So that explains why you left San Francisco, but not why you left me", Jason replies quietly.

"Of course, I understand that this wasn't what you wanted to do for a lifetime. But I would have supported you no matter what your plans looked like. You could have talked to me. Even if that have meant that we wouldn't have lived in the same place, you could have talked to me. We could have made it." Aria can still hear the pain in his voice that she caused.

"There's something I really regret", Jason says quietly as he strokes a tear from her cheek. "The morning you told me you were going to Boston I left instead of just telling you what I feel for you. I wish I would have said what I wanted to tell you an hour later."

Jason doesn't know if it would have changed her decision. But he hopes at least.

"If there is something I regret, it is that I have never told you what you really mean to me. These three months were amazing and I felt we understood each other without words, but maybe I was wrong."

His gaze filled with warmth and understanding makes her sob softly.

"The truth is that I loved you", he says softly, "and I never stopped loving you", he whispers. _And he loves her smile as she now clings to his chest and puts her hand on the back of his neck and tenderly plays with his hair._

"And the truth is, I was scared to tell you because I'd admit I'm completely at your mercy. But now I think there is a reason why I have always been attracted to you. And I think that's why you're worth the risk because there is no one but you who can easily hurt and destroy me. Because the person you love the most can hurt you the most."

A wet stain from her tears forms on his T-shirt as she snuggles closer to him.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" Now it's her turn to give him answers.

Aria has asked herself this question more than once and there is no really good explanation for what she did.

"I had a crush on you from the moment you ran into Ali's room because her music was too loud", she says and Jason can't help but smile as he remembers that day.

"I've always had a crush on you. At 13, at 14 when I missed the bus and you drove me home at 15 when you gave me your old homework, so I wouldn't get a bad grade and at 16 when you kissed me on the street. Just always. Every time I saw you, my fingers were shaking and I always had trouble talking to you without stuttering."

Aria loves the smile that surrounds his lips and she loves the touch of his fingertips when he puts a strand of hair behind her ear. That's why her voice starts to shake. Because she hasn't told him everything yet.

"But Ezra was my first love." She hates it as the smile disappears from his face and his hand falls back onto his lap.

"I had a crush on you. Before I've been with Ezra, during Ezra and after Ezra. But we lived in a dream world. That was no everyday life. And nobody knew about us. As much as I tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter that you are Ali's and Spencer's brother. That thought was always in my head. I've always thought it would be difficult to be with you when they know about it. I was afraid that I gave up on Ezra too soon and that we were only connected through the feelings that I always had for you. An insane attraction but not big love."

Even though he already knows she has changed her mind, her words don't hurt less. "Did you know that Ezra has lived in Boston?" He asks. "Yes", Aria replies monosyllabic and finally he has the answer to the question he has asked himself so often.

"How do you think about that now?" He asks and despite everything, his voice sounds hesitant. How did she manage to make him feel so doubtful about himself? While she looks into his surprised eyes the whole time, she sits astride on his lap.

"No doubts anymore. I'm right where I belong", she says, his smile warming her heart. "There's a reason my feelings for you have never stopped and the three months in San Francisco weren't a dream world, but a taste of what awaits me. Because I want and love you, too", Aria says as she bends over and still sees his mischievous smile before she puts her lips on his.

She bends urgently towards his body and her hands move from his neck over his trained chest. Immediately Jason notices the reaction of his own body. But before he completely surrenders to his lust, he opens his eyes, which he kept closed seconds before in pleasure and ends their kiss.

"Don't get me wrong. But Lauren and I broke up less than 24 hours ago, and while I couldn't be happier with you on my lap, it still feels like I'm cheating on her. She was never you, but she was the one closest to you."

Even in this moment when he speaks of the love for another woman, Aria feels only confirmed in how special Jason is. "It's almost unfair that no other woman will ever have the chance again to find out what a good heart you have", she whispers, adding a kiss to his lips. Slowly she slips off his lap and lies down in his arms. In love, she looks up at him and couldn't be happier, as she can see the same feelings in his eyes.

 **So they finally got their happy ending. Do you like it? There will be one more chapter as kind of an epilogue. What do you think will happen?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Epilogue**

 _1 year later_

"Mrs. DiLaurentis" The young barista says her name for the second time and she heard him the first time. At least that's what she thinks. A few weeks ago, she often didn't react, simply because she hadn't gotten used to a different name. But today she is absorbed in her own thoughts.

She is so engrossed that at first, she doesn't even notice the woman standing in front of her staring at her. The woman had heard this name and turned around in the anticipation of seeing an old friend again. Instead, she looks into the eyes of the woman who prevented her from bearing that name.

"Lauren" Aria's voice gives an idea of the same surprise that she is facing the woman who has been the reason she had a bad conscience for a year. She didn't meet her often. Still, she hasn't forgotten her name and can easily recognize her out of many women.

"Hi Aria", Lauren replies, trying to bring kindness and a smile to her face. "Would you like to sit down with me for a moment?" She asks, actually sounding friendly. Nevertheless, Aria's heart suddenly beats much faster.

Hesitantly, she sits down on the free seat of the couch from which Lauren had previously got up when she heard that name behind her. "To be honest, I expected to meet Ali here when the barista said that name", she says, sounding like she's apologizing for addressing Aria in the first place.

Nervously, Aria plays with the ring on her finger, which Jason has stuck on her finger with trembling fingers and a loving look. Lauren's gaze goes to Aria's hand. "DiLaurentis", Lauren murmurs softly to herself. "You two got married, right?"

In fact, she thinks it's impressive that Alison and Spencer have been keeping their mouths shut and haven't told her that her brother married Aria, even though they still keep in touch regularly. That's why she's in Rosewood today.

Spencer is celebrating her birthday again tomorrow and they're planning to meet a day earlier so Lauren won't have to meet Jason and Aria and because she's not part of the family any more ...

"Yeah, well ... yes, we got married", Aria says stuttering as her gaze drops back to her ring. For a moment neither of them says a word and the silence becomes unpleasant. "I'm so sorry", Aria whispers softly, and Lauren almost has the impression that she is holding back the tears.

"I wish I hadn't had to take him away from you again", Aria says, starting to laugh since the sentence sounds so stupid. Lauren joins in her laughter. She wouldn't have asked Aria to apologize to her. That she does it anyway, ensures that even the last grudge against the woman who caused that her wedding has been cancelled, disappears.

"It's fine. I'm not mad at you. Not anymore at least", she adds with a smile. "Honestly, I'm relieved to hear that he made the right decision and that you two are in fact destined for each other and I didn't lose my relationship because of a few sentimental feelings for a past love."

Gratefully smiling, Aria looks at her. She admires Lauren. She doesn't know if she herself could feel that way. "Are you seeing someone?", Aria asks hesitantly because she is unsure if it has been appropriate to ask Lauren that question because they don't actually know each other.

Lauren nods and her eyes start to sparkle. "Yes, I met a wonderful man and I'm very happy. I think it's all just right as it is now", she says and can almost see the load falling of Aria's shoulders.

Aria hopes that she is right and that everything will still be all right, even after the little secret that she cares is actually true. Without letting Lauren know, Aria covers the pregnancy test in her pocket a little tighter.

She holds the test just as tightly as she finally hears his footsteps in the apartment in the evening, as she is sitting alone in the bedroom for an eternity and stares at the small pack in her hand.

"Aria, what's wrong?" Startled, Jason stops in the doorway when he looks at his wife. Aria sits on the bed, tears burning in her eyes. When she looks at Jason and realizes the worry in his face, she starts to sob aloud and the tears flow down her flushed cheeks.

"I think we should talk", she says silently, before the next sob shakes her whole body. Hurried Jason walks over to her and sits down next to her on the bed. "What happened? Please tell me. You scare me, Aria." He can see how much she is struggling for words.

"I can't do it alone", she finally mumbles softly in tears. "I need you. I can't do it alone", she repeats after a sob. "What? Aria, I'm here. What's going on?", Jason tries desperately to find out why his wife sits so next to him in tears. But Aria's lips move without a word escaping her mouth.

Finally, she takes the pack, which has been lying unnoticed next to her, and gives it to Jason without a word. He stares at the pack and reads the lettering. "You are pregnant?" He asks and suddenly his voice sounds shaky.

"I don't know yet. But I'm overdue and I'm always feeling nauseous in the morning." Suddenly the words just fall out of her mouth. "You were feeling sick? Why didn't you tell me anything?" Jason asks, stunned, that his wife hasn't told him this information. "I want to know when you're not feeling well", he adds as he takes a strand of hair behind her ear.

But Aria doesn't seem to listen to him. "I know we talked about kids and I know we said we'd wait a bit longer. I promise you, I always took the pill. But once I wasn't feeling well. Maybe it happened there. I have no idea how else it should have happened. I just want you to know that I didn't fooled you", Aria explains desperately. He just has to believe her.

But Jason doesn't understand what she's talking about and why she wants to convince him so desperately that she didn't want to get pregnant at all.

"Aria, calm down please." In fact, she manages to calm down as Jason gently lays his hands on hers. "You're my wife. We talked about children and I told you that I want to have children. You're my wife, so of course I want them with you. And I know what can happen when you sleep with each other, even if you contracept and take care. But this thought doesn't scare me. I know that I said we should wait. But honestly, I just told you that because I didn't want to put you under pressure. I proposed to you pretty fast and you are still very young. I just didn't want you to think I want the whole package right away. I wanted to give you time because I'm the old guy of the two of us", he says with a laugh and Aria returns his laugh.

"We didn't plan it that way, but I would be very happy if the test is positive. I'm ready to become a father and I won't leave you alone." Relieved, Aria hugs her husband closely. She stops crying slowly as she lies in his arms and lets herself be held by him.

"Why were you so afraid of my reaction?" Jason whispers softly into her ear. He suspects that there is more behind it and hopes it too. It would worry him if he made her feel like he is leaving her because she is expecting a child from him.

Slowly, Aria frees herself from the embrace. "I've been in this situation before", she says, her eyes focused nervously to her lap. "I wasn't pregnant, but thought I was. I was only 17 and Ezra was still my teacher", she says in a low voice without looking at him.

She doesn't even need to go on. Jason can already imagine how the story ends. "Ezra wasn't excited about this news", he mumbles softly. "No, he totally freaked out. Of course, the situation was difficult. He would have had problems if I had really been pregnant. But his words were simple ... I didn't recognize him anymore and he blamed me", she says as a tear flows down her cheek.

"I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to be scared that you could react similarly. "Tenderly, she breathes a kiss on his lips. "Are you doing the test now? Because I really can't wait to see if I'm going to be a father", he whispers softly against her lips and Aria jumps from the bed laughing and walks euphorically into the bathroom.

Aria tugs at her dress again. She had deliberately chosen a dress that isn't too tight on her stomach. Still, she feels that anyone can see the news the small stick offered to Jason and her last night.

There was nothing left from the initial panic and despair. The moment she went to the bathroom, she wanted so much that she was actually pregnant. To see Jason's joy over this possible news would have made it too difficult for her to tell him that her guess was wrong. And Aria would have been disappointed as well, if it had turned out that there had to be another explanation for her symptoms.

"Don't worry. You really don't see anything yet", Jason whispers softly in her ear as they walk the path to Spencer's house. Smiling, she looks up at him. "I know", Aria says with a laugh, "but I still feel everyone can see it."

Softly, Jason kisses her against her temple. "But we stick with it, right? We don't tell anyone about our news yet." Aria nods in agreement.

They were hugging and kissing full of joy only yesterday evening. They haven't been to the doctor yet and don't know how far along Aria is.

"Then let's go in", Jason says, reaching for Aria's hand. Spencer opens the door immediately when she hears the ringing. Smiling, she looks at her brother and sister-in-law. "I'm so happy you're here", she says, hugging the two at the same time as they are congratulating Spencer.

Spencer hurries to the kitchen and reaches for two champagne glasses. Inviting, she holds out the glasses to the two. Aria stares nervously at the glass of alcoholic liquid. Seeking help, she looks up to Jason. But it is already too late. Spencer looks at the two already wondering because she is still standing in front of them with both glasses in hand.

"Do you have something without alcohol?", Aria asks hesitantly. Irritated, Spencer drops the glasses and places them back on the counter. "Why? Are you not feeling ..." But before she has finished the question, her eyes widen.

"Oh my God. Are you pregnant?" She asks, looking excitedly between Aria and Jason. Seeking help, Aria looks up to Jason again. But he just shrugs. "Yes", Aria finally sighs. They should have known it would be difficult to keep the secret. Overjoyed, Spencer jumps up and down and hugs her friend. "But please keep it for yourself", Aria says with a serious look as she frees herself from the embrace. "Of course", Spencer assures excitedly. "I'm so happy."

"Hi Daddy", Spencer greets her brother as she approaches him with a smile. Jason returns her smile. He has sat alone on the bench under the apple tree and is watching the goings-on in the garden. "I'll remember this birthday present for ages", Spencer says and her joy is obvious. "What are you wondering about?" Nevertheless, she hadn't missed that her brother is brooding about something.

"I can't hide anything from you, huh?" Jason says, but Spencer knows how happy he is to have people around him who understand him without words. Jason sighs heavily.

"I'm just scared that I can't do it," Jason says softly. "What?" Spencer asks irritably. "To be a good father. I had two and neither was a role model for me. On the contrary, they both just showed me how to show your child that it wasn't wanted", he says in a halting voice.

Compassionate, Spencer looks at him. "And it was the dumbest thing they could ever do", Spencer adds. "You will be a great father. I know that. You have nothing in common with them. Not a little. Believe me. I grew up with Peter and I saw your father regularly when I was at your place. You aren't like them in any way. You are a sensitive man, brother, friend and you will also be the greatest father this child can have."

Moved by her words, Jason reaches for her hand. He admires his sister for always finding exactly the words that he needs to hear so that he no longer doubts. "Thanks", he whispers and Spencer returns his smile.

"I'm glad that both of you haven't listened to me", she says as she follows Jason's gaze and sees him looking at Aria with love, who is placing her hand protectively on her stomach for a moment.

"I'm so happy, Spence. I never thought I'd say that, but life can be so beautiful and I'm so glad I never gave up."

 **So this is the end. What do you think about my story and this epilogue. I wanted Jason to say the last sentence and be the focus of the end of the story. He is my favorite character not Aria, just think that he won't be happy without her.**


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